reunions

So my bother leading up to seeing my grandfather was pure anxiety on my behalf. He looked great and I expected the worst.

I have recently had my High School Reunion. 10 years ago I left High School and went out into the wide new world of decision making and independance.

I had a boyfriend while I was at school which lasted four and a half years, from the time I was 15 and a half. He was a wonderful person and I really wanted to catch up with him at the reunion. He didn't come as he was living in Bundaberg (north Queensland) and had a 7 month old baby who he didn't want to part with.

I was dreaming about him and thinking about him constantly for a few months before the reunion. I was trying to contact him but I didn't know where to start. I spoke to my husband about him and he was happy for me to do a search. I spoke to a friend who had organised the reunion and she had a contact for him.

Anyway, I spoke to him last night!!!! I was over the moon. He hasn't changed a bit!!!!!!

I have his mother's watch and I'm going to visit in December so that he can give it to his little girl for her first birthday. (His mum died when we were in year 12). Can't wait.

Ageing

I am very nervous. Tomorrw I am going to see my grandfather who is starting early onset dementia. I haven't seen him for a few months and my dad told me today not to be surprised or hurt that my grandfather has deteriorated.

He is 83 today and he has had a good life. He was an imigrant to australia when he was five. He came from Italy with his parents so that they coudl work on the snowy mountains scheme. My grandfather is an honerable man who has worked hard all of his life, only giving up work at the fruit markets a few years ago.

I have very fond memories of he and I going off to market when I was younger. My nervousness exists because I love my grandfather dearly and I don not want to be bothered by who I see tomorrow - the shadow of the man he once was. I don't want this image of him to ccloud the the memories i have of him and I when I was younger...

Church times Frustration

So I haven't been to church in my own ward for ages and I decided to be bold and unashamed (why I felt like this I have no idea) and ask the Elders what time the Sacrement meeting was on in my ward (Campbelltown 1)... 1 o'clock!!! How stupid is that!!!

Church in Mittagong is where I was introduced to the church and I feel really comfortable there. It's where my friends are and I know all the leaders and the President. Sacrement at Mittagong starts at 9.30am and by the time I've driven down there (40 minute drive) gone to Sacrement, taught a lesson for primary (as a visitor of course), seen my dear friends and driven home, I'm still back before church starts in Campbelltown.

It really sucks. 1 o'clock is slap bang in the middle of my day and with my hubby now working nights, if I went to church i would see less of him (he is not a member). Steve gets up at about midday so if I changed to Campbelltown 1, I would have to say "see ya" at 12.45 until I saw him again at 3.30pm. Now, I'm able to go to church and home again before he is even stirring.

I know it is important to go to church in your own ward and stuff but man, this is not encouraging me to want to leave Mittagong.

I hate busy days at work

So we have come back for a fantastic holiday in America and I find myself for being really grateful that I live in Australia.

We have the most beautiful harbour city (i'm not biased) and we don't have to pay really high prices for fresh food!

Food is a really big sticking point for me because, as someone who struggles with her weight, I found it very frustrating that I had to look really hard to get a meal that came with more than two vegetables and without a serving of fries or hash browns! And what was with the donuts and danishes for breakfast? I couldn't get cereal without it being sugar coated... weird, very weird.

I can certainly understand why America has so many overweight people... maybe I just stayed in the wrong hotels?

I am still in holiday mode and the last three days at work was mind blowing. Very full on with calls and follow ups. I really didn't do much physical paperwork so it didn't feel like I had worked but I can tell you I was busy!

As Christmas Approaches

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way...

I can't get that Carol out of my head! One of my fiber Optic Santa Clause sings it and I pulled them out of the cupboard last night to get them ready for my display this year.

My husband is really impressed that he has to get up on top of the roof and hang the lights on the house again this year... But as I explained to him Christmas is important to me because I look forward to hanging the lights and creating a new display for the window - it often helps with the depressed state!

The other thing, I'll be celebrating my first Christmas as someone's wife! That's amazing.. hopefully next year there will be a child on the way!!!

The lights go up the first weekend of December and it's exciting COS IT'S NEARLY HERE!!!

A whole lot of Blah, Blah, Blah

Today like many other days in the past week or so, my mind has been twisting in a downward spiral... charming.

All I seem to be able to hear from anyone around me is Blah, blah, blah... I really have no interest in people's opinions, thoughts or feelings at the moment.

Self preservation? Who knows.

The last time I felt like this I ended up at the Doctor's feeling totally miserable and walked out with a script for Aropax in my hand bag... Oh goody...

Heading to the gym this afternoon to see if I can pull myself out of this myself... without any drugs.

But do I really want to? Who knows.

Wow

Did you ever find out that what you thought was perfect wasn't? You know, when you hold a thing, like a relationship, up so high up and model yours on it cos you think it stands for everything you want and need but then it turns out be full of flaws?

Yuk.

My closest friend in the world has just found out that her husband has been cheating on her with a married lady that he works with.

I don't know since she confided in me, I just haven't felt the same. It is just not sitting right with me.. can't even begin to imagine how it is for her. I find myself wondering "if they can't work, what chance do I have?" I have built these two people up so high in my head that it just astonishes me that this has happened... they were so solid (or seemed to be)

Oh my...